On Mastery

“You’re the expert. STOP hiring people. Figure it out… YOU are the expert!!”

“But I need a coach!! I need GUIDANCE!!!” I shouted as if both of those things were AIR to my lungs.

“LIFE is your coach. Let your life coach you.” My incredible friend Renee sternly shouted these words to me as she left my house.

Are you f***ing kidding me? I thought… ME? Expert? Gag. Ugh, noooooo.

I washed tears off my face and considered her words—ones I was resisting with every fiber of my being.

After spending three years building my company online, I got used to finding people who knew more than me… And I found such extraordinary comfort in that. On my worst business day, I always felt a sense of safety knowing I could just call an expert and get their help… That perhaps they could “save” me.

Yet somewhere along the way, I ran out of people to hire and advise me. I started noticing that the consultants I would bring into the office would just give me a thumbs up and smile, saying comments like:

“That’s very sophisticated what you’re doing right there.”

“Wow. Was that your idea? Interesting.”

“Who helped you create that? YOU did that?”

“Thanks,” I’d say, “But I would love some more constructive feedback.”
Suddenly, I realized a scary thing: maybe I am an expert. At first, his thought was flattering, but then it felt so lonely. After all, who does an expert hire to help her?… A super expert?

…And how could I know “everything” there is to know?  Not possible.

Do you ever feel as though all the answers you need are outside of you? Perhaps you are buying into the belief that a quick fix from a therapist, friend or family member will somehow “save” you from some sort of pain or situation in your life.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized that life really is my coach… And that all the answers I need are inside of me.

Let life be your coach. Trust it. Know that you’re wise.

Would it be helpful to have a data expert crunch numbers with me? Sure. But do I need it? Nope.

You have everything you need inside of you. You are your own expert. Stop buying into the belief that you need anything but you. The sooner you realize that you can save you, that you have your own back, that you are a bright, bright soul, the better off you’ll be… And the quicker you’ll succeed.



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3 Responses

  1. It’s hard to be positive when everything you face is negative. In general I am a very positive person who tries to stay focused. In the past 3 years my wife and my life has been turned upside down. If it wasn’t for bad luck we would have no luck at all. My wife suffers complications due to diabetes. She is unable to work. Myself I suffered a injury that has left me unable to return to work. Our life is a mess to say the least.

  2. I really connected with your realization of discovering the internal expert. It was just what I needed to hear in this season of my life! However, I have discovered the “super expert” you refer to and it turns out to be right in front of us.

    Although I’m sure you’re familiar with it, I have to say it disagrees with the “self at center” worldview. After all, the only difference between selfish and selflove are the shoes you stand in.

    I do think that both concepts address the idea presented in The Big Leap of accepting positive advancement and blessing in your life, which is definitely something we all need to do.

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